Man, these little phone things are great. I now know what my next childrens' book is going to be- "Bernard Guesses Your Weight In Pigs". Or perhaps "Bernard And The Clacks", once I figure out what in the hell a clack is.

...OK, so the concept needs work, but the point is I can't wait to see what other pearls of wisdom and inspiration this has to offer.

Oh, yes, and I look very very fetching in those nice robes you get in the Wilderness. I'm a Ravenclaw!

... place seems kinda familiar, though. Not TOO familiar, just vaguely.

[[OOC: It has been established in Castle canon that Harry Potter is indeed a real series of fiction books, so yeah. XD]]

You know, I think Elvis is responsible for all this crap. Let's find him if he stops vanishing into thin air every time you try to get a good look at him.

... but check and see if it's me first, okay? I found a nice rhinestone suit in my closet this morning in place of my normal clothes. Stylish, but doesn't do much to hide my martini gut. I also walked out my bedroom door this morning and right into a barrier of duct tape.

Now that's what I call a sticky situation.

[Yes, Derrick has an opinion on Youth vanishing and on everything else happening, but he's not sharing here. You know him- he jokes to cope when bad things happen.]